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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think my spouse will be angry.  He thinks our relationship is fine.  I’ve told him many times it’s not, we have gone to counseling twice.  He hasn’t changed.  He is too focused on work. Divorce will upend his easy life, so I expect it will get ugly.  I want to prepare and get organized before things get heated so it can go as smoothly as possible. [/quote]

Clearly he does not understand how serious the situation is from your perspective.  If there is any chance he might snap out of his work-always trance if he knew you were at the end of your rope, it might make sense to let him know more directly.  He may be thinking you're just going through some ups and downs in the marriage.  Maybe if you told him directly that you feel like you're at the end of your rope and ask him whether he sees any possibility that things could change, he might finally understand.  -- former workaholic DH who saw the light[/quote]

Sometimes an ultimatum finally gets a person's attention.  If you say that this has to change or I do not see a future to this marriage.  I don't want to leave I would like to have a different life with you, but it can't be this life that has developed to become this.  He might change, and in any event if you do this he can never claim to be surprised.  [/quote]

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