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[quote=Anonymous]I felt this way quite a bit too. I tried to help him feel as included as possible -- bought him funny dad gifts, asked for help picking stuff for the registry, etc. He seemed detached. It was hard. It got better when the baby came, but stayed hard in some ways. Looking back now, I can see how this is just a difference in the way we approach parenthood, and may reflect some gendered stuff (some socialized, some biological because when you go through pregnancy it changes certain things for you).

Having said all that, my DH is a good and loving dad. He's imperfect, but he's still a loyal partner to me and clearly loves our child very much. We don't always see eye to eye. We work through it.

But OP, here is my advice to you: pamper yourself. That's what I did and still do. I bought a foot massager, I took long baths. I bought fancy candles and chocolate. New nice pajamas. Stocked up on my favorite foods and planned meals around my cravings. Yes, it would have been nice to have someone do that stuff for me. But if your DH (or mom or sister or friend) are not doing it for you, don't go without! Just do it yourself. In a lot of ways, learning to take really good care of myself and meet my own needs in this way during pregnancy has served me well as a mom. Because while your child is going to love you to pieces, they aren't going to pamper you either. So that is my advice to you. Identify your needs and find a way to get them met. If your husband isn't stepping up, do it yourself. You might not be able to give yourself a foot massage, but there are lots of things you can do to make yourself more comfortable and more cared for. Do it! You deserve it.[/quote]

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