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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Was he willing or able to learn small practices - not change, but willing to learn one or more small things that made a big difference. (Ex: being able to sit down, listen, and have a calm discussion without throwing things). DH's norm growing up was pretty volatile, and he is not amenable to therapy. Advice from people who have been through this?[/quote]

While dating my H said things like: my dad is an absent minded professor, and we all ignored him at home, and I felt so much better once I moved away for college.

Fast FW and we are married w kids. Dinners, drives, walks with that set of parents is quiet, no one talks or asks about anything. Some comments here and there, often quite rude and out of touch. Terrible relationship example. And turns out they are how they are due to the fathers high functioning autism and the moms 40+ years of dealing with it. This was discovered when a brother in law was diagnosed after a series of job firings and failed relationships plus associated anxiety and depression— ultimately all stemming from HFA.

Luckily my H does not have it as bad and basically copies my comments, mood or parenting. But left to his own devices and judgment in new situations - which is most times w kids! - can get overwhelmed and shuts down or gets angry.

So don’t rule out relationship examples steeped in disorders that are genetic.[/quote]

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