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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP this seems like something to explore in therapy.  Your mother was a child when she had you.

If you can find a way to view her as a flawed human who did the best she could, you might be able to find some compassion for her.[/quote]

You can’t make mistakes raising kids and then say “my bad”.

You don’t create a strong bond, there is no strong bond. It’s not the child’s fault/responsibility to create that bind.

OP has a full life, she is not responsible for her mom’s happiness.[/quote]

PP who posted this and I agree 100% that she's not responsible for her mom's happiness at all.  And she doesn't even have to like her mom, forgive her mom, or have a relationship with her mom.

But, being able to see her mom as a flawed human vs. someone who is intentionally hurting her could be very freeing for HER.

My father did some super crappy things when I was a child.  As an adult, I understand that he has suffered his entire life with untreated anxiety that manifested as anger.  It helps me see that it's not personal, and that he was suffering in his own way.  I dunno if I'm making sense.  Anyway, not trying to blame the OP at all or say she needs to foster a relationship with her mom.[/quote]

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