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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother has those expectations as well. Once I read, "The hardest thing about having a narcissistic parent as a grown person is the expectation of a relationship that doesn't exist."[/quote]

I relate to this and your situation OP, though my mom wasn't so young. In my mom's case it's both my relationship and with my sister. She turned her head to very disturbing behavior from my sister that went far beyond sibling rivalry. Grandparents, teachers, etc pointed out her toxic behavior and she went into denial and became defensive. My sister was her Golden. I was the scapegoat and there was no changing that. Now she's bitter that I was there more for my dad than I am for her. She insists I be close to my sister and refuses to accept we are estranged. My sister fuels her fire and I just step back further.

I love the book recommended here- [u]Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parent[/u]s or something like that. My mother also envies how close I am to others. I think she also cannot comprehend that my husband I don't scream at eachother and insult eachother because that how she and my father were.[/quote]

This is a great book! Came from a home with emotionally immature parents and saw my parent’s in this book a lot. Your mom sounds a lot like my mom- cannot be accountable for actions and if emotional work is to be done in the relationship, you need to do it. I think you need to move on. You can have compassion for her as a teenage mom and for little childhood you, but that’s probably as far as you can go. [/quote]

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