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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does anyone else have a parent who does this? For example, if my mother is visiting while kids are doing homework, she will tell them about how I got very bad grader for a period of time or never even bothered to open my books. Then elaborated that I struggled with leaning and had to work harder than my brother did. I’m the one in the family with a Phd, my brother flunked out of grad school.  Other times, it’s about how I was a bad cook and didn’t know how to use an oven until I was married blah, blah. I could go on and on. Same thing happens when I receive a compliment from someone. If my mom is present she adds something she feels is embarrassing or reminds me that I was a very difficult kid.

I’m beginning to see that it’s pretty sad I’ve put up with this for so long. [/quote]

Defend yourself.

Grandma: Kids, your mom got very bad grades and never opened her books; she struggled and had to work harder than Uncle Pete.
You: Yes, and I persevered and got a PhD. I never gave up on myself.

Grandma: Did you know Mom was such a bad cook she didn't even know how to use an oven until she was married?
You: Yes, it made me sad that you always kicked me out of the kitchen when I wanted to learn, but I finally did. Kids, you will know how to cook before you move out.

Rando:  OP, your hair looks so shiny and healthy! You look like you could be in a hair commercial!
Grandma: As a child, her hair was a rat's nest. She would never let me brush it and it was always full of knots and tangles. Such a difficult child - she'd never sit still to let me brush it. 
You: Luckily we all grow up - thank you so much, Rando! [/quote]

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