Reply to How to respond to someone who is being sanctimonious?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

They probably feel unappreciated, and eldercare can get mentally and physically exhausting over the long-term. Praise is FREE and makes people feel SO MUCH BETTER. You really need to remember that :-)

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DH does thank his sisters for their efforts. He is thankful. They know that DH can only do so much because of distance and time. DH is in a full-time job in senior management, and I travel regularly for my job and/or to see my own elderly (and not so elderly) relatives overseas. 
The SILs work very few hours, for various reasons, so have more free time to be around MIL.

MIL also receives almost 24/7 care from aides.[/quote]

Right, but what people know and what they feel can be very different (my mother is a perfect example of that, and boy, is she annoying to be around!). My MIL receives high quality paid care from aides, but my BILs still need to be present and solve issues nearly every day. I am HUGELY GRATEFUL for what they do! Like you and your husband, DH and I are the absent ones due to distance. So it sounds like both you and your husband should praise more than you think is needed, so that they feel nearly/barely acknowledged! I know :-) But this is how it is. And then when they start on something that has nothing to do with helping their mother, say "mm-hmm" and tune them out. This is what I do with one of my BILs, who can talk my ear off about all kinds of nonsense.
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