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[quote=Anonymous]My father has rapidly progressing dementia and is on his way out. The last time we saw him in person was Thanksgiving 2019 when he was still doing well. Now he's completely nonverbal.

I really feel like we should visit, but:

1. We haven't been in contact with my parents since January because of my mom's abusive behavior (my whole life but it got even worse after the election). All our info is coming from my sister. My mom already blamed me for his dementia and said it was because I shocked him and stressed him out by telling them about my miscarriages. His big downturn came after we stopped contact and I know she'll have blamed me for it. The grief and guilt is bad enough without her basically accusing me of killing him. I can't handle that.

2. Our 5yo really wants to see him and is very sad he's not doing well, but I'm worried that seeing him like this will be traumatic. I know seeing my grandmother suffering from Alzheimer's in the nursing home was really traumatic and upsetting for me. Not to mention exposing her to more of my mom's abusive behavior towards me.

What would you do? [/quote]

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