Reply to This is kind of a weird question and trigger, there is an OW component

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[quote=Anonymous]So I am the former AP of someone I still care deeply about but am I longer intimate with. We still feel connected but do not speak or meet. This summer he nearly died, and while that was happening, asked me not to communicate bc he was afraid the messages would be found by his wife and would hurt her (obviously, although they are PG their mere existence would be hurtful at such a time). Anyway all my normal instincts of being helpful etc were impossible bc of what I have been to him, and the only humane thing to do was withdraw, knowing that his first priority is of course his family and real life. He got back in touch afterwards to let me know he was okay. The whole experience was humiliating and excruciating though in terms of all channels of normal basic decency being closed and ironically as afraid as I was of losing him to death itself, I’m now inclined to end it anyway bc being shut out made crystal clear that no matter what I have ever meant to him (which he has all along told me is a lot) it is next to nothing in the context of his real life, and I feel like such a fool for having cared so deeply for so long even though I ended the physical relationship many years ago. Ending the emotional tie now won’t actually accomplish anything bc it still doesn’t change the past or how we can relate to each other now. He has meant a lot to me and the relationship such as it is (mostly based on our former bond) has gotten me through some very tough times but does not feel the same after this. Does it make sense to end it because of something in the past that ending it cannot change? It seems irrational but that’s my impulse.[/quote]

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