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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 9 year old child and my child’s close friend both have feisty, but generally kind personalities. They love each other intensely and sometimes get into small fights. It’s usually when they are tired - totally normal in my opinion. This past weekend, after one such fight, the friend’s mom sent me a text telling me how hurt her child was and that her child would be writing my child an apology letter and she expected my child to do the same. This is the third time she’s demanded an apology from my kid.

My response in this case was that my child was also hurt by her friend’s behavior, but that we would return the apology (my kid was hurt and was objectively rude; we talked through it, I disciplined, and that was that).[b] As a witness to these fights, I know that my kid was simply reacting to mean behavior by the friend…essentially standing up for themselves. [/b]And in two of these cases, the mom made the apology demand to my kid directly in person/in front of me. Her kid did not end up apologizing in those cases, even though the friend’s behavior was the cause of the fight.

I can’t help but be annoyed. I discipline my kid and don’t demand apologies on their behalf when they are wronged, but we do advocate for standing up for yourself (in a kind way). Am I being too sensitive? How should I respond next time? [/quote]

You don't sound remotely objective.

You and the other mother should stay out of it.  These kids are not toddlers.  Let them handle their own fights.  You can continue to teach them about appropriate behaviour and apologizing without actually getting involved in the details.

TL;DR- Land your helicopters and teach/model in your own time.[/quote]

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