Reply to I have an egalitarian marriage, and I HATE it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Who has time to work full time plus communicate constantly about every little detail of home management in order to keep things running remotely smoothly? Power struggles about how to do every little thing since there are two people who have to have ultimate responsibility for the outcome. [/quote]

If this were my life, I'd be crazy too!

No need for the "little details" to be communicated/negotiated/struggled over all the time.  Divide things up.  Laundry + dry cleaning is 100% my responsibility.  Grocery shopping is 100% his responsibility, though I do note things that we have run out of or that I want on a list in the kitchen.  Dusting + vaccuuming are kid chores.  Kitchen cleaning is shared by everyone -- we don't really need to talk about, we just do it.

You may need to drop the rope on some of the 'how to do every little thing'.  Does it matter if the dishwasher is loaded incorrectly?  As long as the dishes get clean, let it go.  If the HOW matters more to you, it's your job to do it.  If the HOW matters more to him, then it's his job.  That way you aren't feeling agitated every day/week.
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