Reply to Making an ADHD kid apologize to the teacher and whole class after a meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous]I actually am okay with this based on your follow up OP. I think it could be done in a shaming way and I understand your initial reaction because that would be mine too. But the way you describe it based on your DD's description makes it sound less formal than that. I think if the teacher had the right tone when asking, it actually good have been a good thing because it could have helped the classmates move on as well. If all they see is the outburst, but there is no follow up with the class to talk about what went wrong and discuss how it might have impacted them, that could be bad for your DD as well because it can create resentment among classmates about the disruption or just make them want to avoid her. Apologies/accountability can repair the relationship and help them view your DD as an accountable person who made a mistake, instead of a "troublemaker" or whatever.

This is something done in ECE classes a lot to help kids become more understanding of one another and to be accountable to each other, but in older grades it drops away and often consequences for acting out happens away from the rest of the class. I think that can be negative. Being transparent about these things can actually encourage empathy and understanding because kids better understand what is happening.

But yeah, it has to be done in a way that doesn't shame your kid. And it's hard to know if you aren't there. I think I would look at how the teacher spoke to me about the incident and if they made shaming language or seemed angry at my child (instead of being curious about what is causing the difficult behavior and seeking to work together to find a solution).[/quote]

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