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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have three kids. G13, G11 and B8.

DH has always been hands off as a parent and I attributed that to his harsh (borderline abusive) upbringing and time spent away from us (active military).  I was happy with two but he really wanted a son so we did gender selection IVF and our son was born.

However our son isn’t a “boys boy” as DH puts it and he cannot relate to him or our daughters at all.  I think he overall had very different expectations for parenting that haven’t aligned with our reality.

He said he always wanted a son who had the same interests that he could teach to hunt or fish or wrestle but our son has zero of those interests so DH just doesn’t put forth the effort.  Our oldest DD is actually the most like DH and has shown interest in those types of things but he doesn’t put fort the effort with the girls at all.

I’m just overall feeling really sad and defeated.  Sad my kids are missing out on their dad.  Sad my husband is missing out on our amazing kids.  Sad about the trauma my husband went through that made him the way he is.  Sad he won’t entertain the idea of therapy.  And sometimes even sad I had kids with someone who isn’t the father I thought he’d be. [/quote]

I had this father and was the oldest tomboy sporty girl who loved the outdoors and whose father could not be bothered because I did not have the “correct” plumbing in his eyes. It sucks and as a kid, it feels terrible. This dated, tired machismo BS is so toxic.

But it won’t change, so help your son and daughters to find some positive male role models in the community and in their activities. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, OP.[/quote]

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