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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm 13:41 and re-reading your initial post that at one point she expressed interest in moving here.  When she looked at housing prices was she comparing apples to apples, buying a comparable home in the DC area?  If so, instead maybe compare apples to oranges since regardless of where she is downsizing is probably a good call.  Assuming her home is paid off can the proceeds there pay for a condo here?  Also, does it need to be as close in as you are? A condo in Reston is going to be cheaper than Arlington, same with Gaithersburg and Bethesda.

A friend's parents recently bought a condo in a really lovely community along the Occoquan in Virginia.  Close enough to see one another on the weekends, or even during the week if MIL makes the drive, but still clearly independent.  You didn't mention where you live but there are lovely condo communities everywhere, not necessarily one geared towards seniors.  [/quote]

This is OP. Some clarifications on the concept of her moving closer, that was an off hand remark she made.

If she had a strong and consistent desire to move here, I'd certainly help her with research. But it seems like a no go - I gave DH some research I'd done after she made the brief off-hand comment about wanting to move closer, and it was a clear no to moving to a condo here (close-in) or a further-out option. If she were 1.5 hrs away, that's a 3-hour drive for our family and we could do a visit maximum 1x/monthly (not worth it -- better for her to fly here or all of us to visit there). She has no desire to move to a condo in her local area.

I see tons of people 70+ living in their own homes where we live close-in here. My own relatives and DHs relatives likewise have - people only moved if they couldnt live at home.

Pushing her to move in any way seems just like a non-starter really, and not something I am pushing in any way. Like imagine between living in a lovely home and neighborhood (picture like in the "Home Alone" movie) for $200k... Versus a condo in that budget within 1.5 hours of here, plus a monthly condo fee, plus losing deep friendships and community connections that can't be replicated. So much is tied to identity, whole life.

For now at least she goes on living in her home. So I am more looking for best practices from others with a similar family context or experience in this type of region. Assisted living and home care are available all the time where she lives (no wait-list) as people really need jobs there, so if there is a crisis there is not any issue with getting in off a wait-list.

More what I am thinking is
+ Encourage her to visit here more
+ Mention again that she always has the option to live on the 1st floor of her home and use upstairs just for guests
+ Get to know her neighbors when we are up there
+ Share information on what others are doing ("My (older) relative made some changes to their bathroom and installed nice looking grab bars in shower")
+ As time goes on if she needs help with healthcare paperwork or research I can do that from afar
Etc...

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