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[quote=Anonymous]I am about to be remarried after being a single mom for 8 years. My fiance has a history of financial irresponsibility. Nothing horrible. He pays his bills and his half of our joint mortgage. But he still has grad school loans (at 52) and he doesn't have enough saved for his kids' college, or nearly enough for his own retirement. He had credit card debt which I helped him figure out how to pay off. His son is going to college next year as is my daughter. I have a low salary job but have always been a saver and extremely concerned about retirement and long term care. I work in elder care so I know how financially devastating those expenses can be for families.

My fiance's parents live in Manhattan-- they retired there to join their adult daughters and grandkids. After selling their house in Suburban New York, they spent down all their savings/house profit and are now living on social security and a small pension. After two decades of luxury travel and a high life retirement in the most expensive zip code in America, they have now called my fiance and asked for a stipend for the rest of their lives to support their lifestyle.

As in, they want a monthly allowance to keep living in Manhattan. And, by the way, they have zero assets left for their later years when their health wanes.

Let me state clearly that I adore his parents. They are loving and fun and wonderful.

But I can't get my mind wrapped around this. My fiance suggested to his sisters that they move to Brooklyn to cut costs and they looked at him like he grew a third head.

He feels pressure to provide for his parents (who never hinted before when they were living the high life that funds were limited). I feel absolutely terrified that this man with not enough of his own retirement and not enough savings for his kid to go to college is going to end up ruining my life financially because he doesn't know how to say no to anybody (parents, adult kids, even ex wife).

Any advice for how to proceed with this sticky situation, treating his parents with respect but setting reasonable boundaries knowing we just can't support their lifestyle. [/quote]

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