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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not exactly the same scenario but DH's mother was widowed and stayed in her home town where all her friends were. One benefit if she moved here now, perhaps to an active living community is that she is still healthy and active enough to make friends and enjoy living here.  It will also be so much easier on you when she starts to decline so that he isn't constantly having to travel out there.  My MIL died when DS was one, and throughout that first year my DH was traveling to his hometown probably every 6wks to handle things as his mother declined, ended up in nursing care and passed away.  Selfishly, would have been so much easier if she had been nearby, she also would have seen her new grandson a few more times.

I'd definitely recommend moving to a single story home.  If not, have her wear a medic-alert button tied to the home's alarm system, or at a minimum always keep her cellphone in her pocket.

[/quote]

Thank you for this reply, it is similar to what I could see happening here.

We have mentioned an active adult community closer to here and even passed along pricing for one that is close, and a similar concept more 1.5 hrs away where we might visit monthly (at 3 hrs drive time for our family, half day for us, to visit 1x/month). But is really, really expensive and not at all appealing to her compared to owning a lovely single family home in a great neighborhood in her city. And a 1x/monthly visit is not much to plan her life around. Currently she is close to good friends. 
At young 70 she also doesn't envision living in a place for "older folks"

Single level and life alert button, yes perhaps DH should float to her without it being meddlesome. pPerhaps it is getting to that point to say something and this is exactly what I was wondering when I posted.Previously I think she may be offended and may still be offended now but having had a fall it is more reasonable to mention at a good moment.

I appreciate the insights.[/quote]

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