Reply to WWYD to visit ILs overseas?

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[quote=Anonymous]My partner and I have been together for many years. We do a lot of travelling and split expenses 50/50. It has overall worked well for us. We both earn approximately the same amount of money.

We go to visit his family overseas and when we do we split expenses like we do our other vacations. In the past we stayed with his parents (who were very welcoming) but once they died we no longer had their home to stay in. Now when we go visit his sibling/extended family we stay in a hotel. They live in a small town and that's where we spend the majority of the time, visiting with people at their homes. We all get along pretty well despite some language challenges and generally have a good time together.

Staying in their small town over and over again is beginning to be a challenge for me. They live less than an hour away from one of Europe's most stunning cities yet over all the years, I've only spent a couple of hours there because we are always spending our time "visiting" with all his family in the small town.

His family rarely visit us here in the US although they can easily afford it. We tell them often they are welcome and would love to have them visit. They frequently take long vacations elsewhere around the world, typically a couple of times per year. Like most Europeans they get quite a bit of vacation time.

My partner is beginning to plan another trip "home" to visit his family. Once again he wants me to go along with him, stay in a hotel in the small town and of course, split the costs equally. I confess I am beginning to become resentful of this arrangement as I'm paying half the costs (using my overall vacation budget/time) to stay in a place I really don't want to go to. I have asked my partner why can't he go ahead of me, spend a week or so with his family alone, then I can fly over later to join him the last couple of days (so I can see his family, too) before we go off and spend some time elsewhere seeing the sights. He gets upset and says he wants me there the whole time.

This is frustrating to me since we seem to expend all the energy on keeping his family connections. I understand that he needs to see them and am very supportive but I don't know why I have to be there the whole time, using up my money and vacation.  I am coming to the realization it's probably because he appreciates me picking up half the tab more than anything else.

WWYD? [/quote]

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