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[quote=Anonymous]DH got involved in an intense EA that he confessed to a few months ago. While he confessed out of guilt, he has not put in the time needed to see if the marriage can be repaired through couples counseling.

Even though he's struggling with the moral choice of whether to leave me for her, so far the signs indicate that he is going to choose her. He broke the "no contact" rule after only two marriage counseling sessions and is still texting her and talking to her.  I don't want to share all the details of this situation as DH is a DCUM reader too....

My question is, if we decide to get a divorce, how do I emotionally survive a year of separation in place with an unrepentant cheater? How do I treat him well in front of the kids, and how do I amicably co-parent with him knowing he didn't even give marriage counseling a try? He is literally blowing up a 16 year marriage for someone from his past that he knew when he was a teenager.  How do I have the emotional stamina to smile and nod through this, knowing that at the end of our day he's retreating to his room and texting her, reporting back to her what's going on in our marriage, exchanging ILYs, and fantasizing about a new future while my world is shattered?

I know I should be relieved to be done with him. But I have such dread about the separation in place because of how hurt I am. I have heard over and over again - take care of yourself, exercise, focus on yourself. I get that. But how do I reach a point of co-parenting with him amicably, for the sake of my kids, when every time I see him I feel so hurt and traumatized by his actions?

Are divorce and separation support groups helpful? I feel so hurt and so sad, especially since our children will have such a horrible example of selfishness in their father.  [/quote]

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