Reply to Stepmoms: were you the AP who broke up the marriage?

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Reply to "Stepmoms: were you the AP who broke up the marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the kid, I know (it's a stepdad in my case), and the relationship isn't good.  I found out on my own-- nobody told me.[/quote]

I'm sorry. How old were you at the time of divorce? I am sadly on the cusp of divorce because my spouse won't end the affair and plans to marry the AP. I'm concerned for the kids. Oldest is 8.[/quote]

16 for the divorce but the affair started when I was 12.  You cannot stop an angry and suspicious teenager from snooping, unfortunately.  There were just too many coincidences of them being in the same place at the same time and I got suspicious and started checking up on them, driving by his house unexpectedly and seeing my mom's car, etc.  They were really sloppy.  Then I confronted him coming out of my mom's house shortly after the divorce and he was man enough not to lie to my face.

If you can get divorced before your children are old enough to catch on, you may be able to bury it in the past.  But really think about whether it's better for them to hear the truth, rather than just sensing the weirdness.  I would rather have just one lying parent, not two, personally.[/quote]

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