Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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Reply to "SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I got a job that allows me to work part time (and be very flexible during school holidays) but pays decently. That was the selling point for my DH -- I was able to find a job that was part-time but with a very good hourly rate. I'd still definitely make more money if I worked full time, but then we'd have to spend more money on childcare and either hire house cleaners or have a messy house all the time.  It was very obvious to him that having me limit my hours so I could spend more time with our kids was going to benefit everyone.

I think often the perception is that SAHMs are just sitting around doing nothing. It's frustrating because even if you are working hard every day, people will seize on any example of a SAHM enjoying the perks of her job (like a flexible schedule or, gasp, doing a fun activity with her kids) as evidence that they don't do anything. It's ridiculous because when I worked full time, people didn't assume that just because my office had free snacks, I was useless and lazy. But SAHMs do not get that benefit of the doubt.

So I think the key is to talk to him about the value you provide your family and state in concrete terms what it would cost the family for you to return to work. So if you are meal planning, cleaning, taking care of the kids after school, getting them to activities and also doing all the legwork in getting them enrolled, handling most/all parent commitments at school etc., talk to him about what it would cost to outsource those activities, or what it would look like for your family to go without. Be pointed about it. Outline the real costs. If after that he still thinks you should go back full time, I think you have a husband problem.[/quote]

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