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Eldercare
Reply to "Anyone else feel like being there for elderly parents was their downfall?"
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[quote=Anonymous]Yes OP. I feel the same. My biggest life regret is moving my family back to the East Coast to take care of my parents and another elderly relative. There was no other family - I am an only - and I thought I was doing the right thing. But it nearly killed me and my marriage. And in the end, I don’t really feel like I helped all that much, because despite being there for every - and there were many - ER visit, hospital stays, moves to and from AL, through hospice - all three of the people involved were just miserable and lashing out at me constantly. And when I say lashing out, I mean screaming horrendous things, telling me I was responsible for their impending deaths, criticizing every single thing I did, etc. I spent so much time triaging crisis after crisis in two states that I feel like I missed my children’s toddler years, missed career opportunities, missed time with my spouse and on and on. I needed up going part time at work to try to manage it all. And the worse part is that we now feel stuck here even though we hate it and want to move back West, because the last relative is still alive and over the years, our kids have settled in to school, friends, etc. It was so bad that I have intentions of preparing letter instructions for my children, now while I am youngish and this is fresh in my mind, telling them that I categorically do not want them to do what I did when I get old. I honestly feel like no good came of it and that I will never recover from the trauma and exhaustion of it all.[/quote]
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