Reply to Insensitive friend, how would you explain this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am sorry for your loss.  The one comment was weird, but people often say weird things during awkward movements.  If you talk to your friend, [b]make the conversation about the larger issue - that you feel like you do all the listening and supporting.  Do not just focus on this one thing. [/b]

You also might want to speak up a bit more about what you need.  Your friend may think you do not want to talk about your loss.[/quote]

I disagree.  Make it about this one thing -- don't make it about everything and dredge up a bunch of stuff from the past that you never complained about before.  "I get that you thought Larla was uncomfortable when I mentioned that it was the anniversary of Joe's death.  But it hurt that you laughed and tried to downplay it.  I only brought it up because everyone kept pushing me, but it's real and it hurts, and it felt like you thought it was more important to make Larla comfortable than to comfort me."  Let her sit with that and see what she says.  Maybe add, "I think I'm just looking for an apology.  I understand that grief can make people feel awkward and uncomfortable, and people say the wrong thing because they don't know what to say.  I know you mean well.  But it hurt my feelings, and I just want to know that you understand that."[/quote]

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