Reply to Friend keeps pressuring me to hang out when I can't.

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[quote=Anonymous]I have a good friend that I met when I was a SAHM, we spent a lot of time together, both us and our kids are very close.

Now that our kids are in ES, I've started working, so I don't have as much availability to hang out during the day. She's started complaining that I never hang out with her anymore, even though we still see each other once a week or so. I've tried to arrange playdates and time together, but she often can't because her kid has afternoon/evening classes during the week, and her husband wants weekends to be strictly "family time".

She also cancels on me quite a bit, like I had invited her over for yesterday afternoon and she accepted, but then cancelled last minute because she forgot her kid had a class, and she wasn't feeling well. I'd day about half the time I make plans with her, she cancels.

I'm a little frustrated because she claims that I always cancel on her (to my knowledge, I have cancelled a few times but not many), she says I ditch her for my boyfriend (I mean, yes I can't come over on a whim all the time because I have plans with him, I don't think that's wrong), and she says I never go to her place (I was just at her place last week, then I invited her to my place this week).

She also complains that I don't hang out during the day anymore. Which is true, I am usually working, and although my work is flexible, I can't just bail every time she wants to hang out. I've pointed out several times that she has kid's classes and "family time" during my availability, and she just says that if her kids don't go to classes, they don't behave, and if she hangs out on weekends, her husband is in a bad mood. Which is fair I guess, but that shouldn't mean I'm the only one compromising on availability.

Yesterday she invited me to come over for a sleepover tonight. My kid is with her father, so I don't really want to go. Sleeping over at other people's houses isn't that fun for me. I said no, and now she keeps calling me to ask over and over, pressuring me to go, and say I keep ditching her for my boyfriend.

I don't want to lose our friendship, but I don't want to hear every day that I don't give her enough attention. I enjoy spending time with her, but not when half the time is crapping on me because I'm not available 24/7.

How can I let her know nicely that I don't want to be pressured, I still want to be friends, but I can't always drop everything for her?[/quote]

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