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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I left and it’s been amazing. I only regret not leaving sooner.

I built a large support system of mostly friends (some family), and got a pit bull of an attorney. Many women I’ve known who left their husbands settled for less in the divorce because they felt guilty for leaving, or to “keep the peace”. Don’t do that. Go after every penny you deserve, your H is going to throw a tantrum no matter what you do.

I tried to plan but at some point I just left. There came a day where I knew if I didn’t leave now, even though I wasn’t prepared at all, I never would leave. Get an attorney now, but don’t wait until everything is perfect to leave.

Also life with just my DC is so so so SO much better than when I was married. We have so much more quality time now that I’m not depressed. DC is a little older than your child now, but we take trips together, our weekends are a blast, we have a large network of community and friends that I’ve built. I love being able to parent the way I want without constant critiquing from xH.

There will also come a day when suddenly you see your H for the sad, pathetic POS he is. For me, suddenly all the crap he kept pulling became hilarious. Like the other day he called me up to tell me I’m a drain on society, I contribute nothing, I’m a terrible mother and a complete waste of space and air. Those things used to drive me to mental breakdowns when we were together but now I just laugh. What a pathetic excuse for a man if he needs to put down the mother of his child to feel like a big tough guy. You’ll also be able to see the gaslighting clearly for what it is and not question yourself.

If you can, find a good therapist to help you work through your relationship issues. I have huge co-dependency problems, and I’ve learned to work with them.

You got this :)[/quote]

OP here - thanks so much. Your situation definitely sounds similar to mine. If not too revealing for an anonymous post, I would love to hear who the pitbull attorney was. [/quote]

Thanks :) Unfortunately I’m not in DC, I’m across the country (from DC which is why I’m on DCUM).

Set up consultations with a few different attorneys and see which one fits you best. Ask around and get recommendations. I met with a few and one stood out above the rest by leaps and bounds. Also, just from my own experience, female attorneys seems to be much better than male ones. Friends of mine have also confirmed this. I don’t know why, but male attorneys seem to always fight harder for male clients and not take the female ones as seriously (just in my own experience). [/quote]

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