Reply to S/O So what does it mean to "put effort into" your marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous]Woman/34/married

Things I consider putting in effort daily - keeping the gratitude and humor in our interactions. Little things that keep the peace and make our time together enjoyable and light, even when the situation may be hard.

-being mindful not to treat husband as a person to dump stress on. Many times, I'll call his name to say something whiny but then catch myself and say something light like what a funny thing the child did, or ask him if he wants some tea.

-if I'm not in the mood for sex but he clearly is, I go with it. The reasoning being that if he feels better then we can more cheerfully tackle the stresses or monotony of daily life.

-offering gratitude or humor when he helps with tasks that bother him, such as paying more than he wants to for food at farmers market vs less at grocery store.

-he really slacks off on chores like dishes and cleaning. When I insist he help, he does and then sulks for an hour. At this time, I don't grumble at him back but come by and touch him lightly and make a joke about what a grump he is. When his sour mood passes, we are back to getting along.[/quote]

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