Reply to How to accept that we didn't have a second child

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[quote=Anonymous]Huge hugs to you OP. We just took our only to college last weekend, so I can speak to our experiences and his (to a degree). We waited to have kids, then couldn't, then did IVF and delivered him at 39 (a day before my birthday actually). We tried again a few times quickly after that to no success.

Yes, it was hard for us but we were so happy to have him thinking we never would, and yes it was hard to accept early on. We grieved a lot. At this point we do think of our "others" and wonder what life would be like, but only in passing (after we dropped him off actually...lots of tears on my part). But honestly I can't imagine life any different. Our little family of 3 is perfect and things have been different because of it, in a good way. We are both very involved parents, and have no regrets about not having enough time for him.

He is a kind, calm child who people like to be around. We were able to kid around with him and have looser rules just having one. He had us 100%, and we could afford to travel and do things because of just having one. We are a close unit. There was a time he asked for a sibling along the way but he knew what we went through and that it was a pipe dream. Then he would be around screaming kids and happy to go home to the quiet!

It's different, but it's ok. Both ds and I are from multiple sibling families, and it was hard for us to picture a small family. But it's ours and we can't honestly imagine it any other way. At times, I thanks god I didn't have more as my anxiety wouldn't have handled it, and I was able to be a great mom to him.

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