Reply to DH takes too long to respond to DC, it’s infuriating

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Well, I'm glad I'm not alone in this, though all the comments about divorce are upsetting. I'm not in that headspace at all but I am pretty fed up with this specific behavior.

The thing is, my DH actually agrees that he is on screens too much and agrees we should not model this behavior for our kid. I will also note that I feel I spend too much time on my phone in general and also work freelance so am on my computer around DC all the time. However, if DC needs something, I am very good at putting down whatever device I am on and turning my attention to my child. I do think this is partly because I don't do any social media and don't play games almost ever -- I think those things are designed to suck you in and make it hard to stop. I might say to DC, "Ok, let me finish typing this email and then I'll get you a snack" or "yes, I need to finish reading this paragraph and then we'll get ready for the park." But then I actually do those things because I'm engaged in a specific task and need to finish it. I think it's healthy for DC to understand that they can't get what they want instantly, and also that I have a life and other things that require my attention sometimes.

Also, unlike DH, I don't become so wholly absorbed in the screen that I don't hear it when people talk to me. I might say "hold on a sec, let me finish this" before turning my attention to them (whether it's DC or DH or someone else), but I don't just ignore them. Even if I'm on a screen, I'm still present in my home with my family. And if I need to be fully engaged in something work related outside of my normal work hours, I will let people know and go in my office and get it done.

What I'm saying is that I'm not perfect and I don't think DH and I are that far apart on screen time. But he has a MUCH harder time just putting the screen down and seems to feel much more entitled to ignore our child than I do, which is leading to a very unequal parenting set up even though we split most other stuff pretty equitably. Our kid is still really getting the idea that if they need anything, including stuff like "someone to tell about this thing that happened at school", I am much more available. But DH is so resistant to discussing it, which is upsetting.[/quote]

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