Reply to Vicious cycle of stress while potty training, should we take ANOTHER break?

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Reply to "Vicious cycle of stress while potty training, should we take ANOTHER break?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Nothing but empathy here. I don't know what the solution is. We went through the exact same thing, but when we tried again a couple months later (for the 3rd time) it was even worse. We didn't really have much success until 3.5. I know people will say we should have "pushed through" when in your position, but I know EXACTLY what you are talking about with it just going weeks and weeks and instead of seeing progress, it just feels like your kid is devising more complex and upsetting ways to avoid using the potty. It's exhausting and I honestly don't know how to push through. So we didn't. Our kid wound up in pull ups for a long time.

I will say that when we ultimately started having more success, it was largely child-driven (she really wanted to stop wearing pull ups and use the potty). And the incentive for her was not a bribe or anything (we tried those, they never worked). It was that we told her (as gently as we could) that when she started school this fall, all the other kids would be using the potty and the teacher might not be able to help her with her pull up, especially any #2. It stressed her out, which I felt awful about, but it was the truth, and it was around that time that she started talking about wearing her cotton underwear instead and making more of an effort to sit on the potty. She also stopped fighting us when we'd suggest the potty (for months and months if we said "Ok, time to sit on the potty" before leaving the house or going to bed or whatever, she'd dig her heels in and refuse).

She wasn't ready until she was ready. No idea why she is like this about potty training. She is a strong willed kid in general but also very eager to learn and develop new skills usually -- loves learning to ride a bike, learning her letters, going to dance and gymnastics class, doesn't usually have a terrible time with making mistakes. But potty training really brought out her obstinate, perfectionist side. It was really hard on our family. I say be as gentle with yourself as you can, especially with a baby in the picture. It's okay if she's late to train. Pull ups suck, but she will get there eventually and you will get your much deserved celebration. It just might take a lot longer than you'd hoped. Good luck and hugs![/quote]

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