Reply to Getting over friendship with a narcissist

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Getting over friendship with a narcissist"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your therapist may be trying to guide the discussion back to you, instead of fixating on your friend.  In a lot of ways, a narcissist makes it so that you end up focusing all your emotional and mental energy on them, they love being the focus of attention.  They prefer the positive attention, but if they cannot get that, they will settle for the negative attention.  They do this (almost unconsciously) by keeping you off kilter, insecure, entwined into their web of drama.

You have to get to a point where this friend has no power over you anymore, meaning you have to forgive her.  This is for you, not for her.  You have to know and believe that you are better off without her in your life.  At some point, all of her manipulative tactics will become obvious to you, and you will be able to see them with detached curiosity instead of it getting under your skin.  And the only way to really heal from a relationship with a narcissist is to create a lot of distance from this friend.  It may mean giving up some other friends that are also under the spell of the narcissist.

There is a loss of identity that happens when you are with a narcissist, and it will take some time to find that again.  You may have always struggled a bit with your sense of identity, even before meeting this friend.  So maybe you can work on that with your therapist.  [/quote]

Really good advice here. I will say that I don’t think of it as forgiveness. I think of it as simply letting them go, choosing to longer be hurt by what they did. Like applying the meditation practice of observing thoughts and letting them go, but for a person and relationship. This was easier for me than forgiveness, because trying to feel forgiving was such a block for me. It was more manageable to focus on detachment.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics