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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH says he doesn't want more kids until we're settled, but he's the one who quit his job at age 38"
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[quote=TheManWithAUsername][quote=Anonymous] I'd ignore what he says in order to get at what it means. La, la, la, [the preconditions]...I'm actually nervous about becoming a Dad. Or something along those lines. What are the feelings that he's using these words to hide?[/quote] Not to drag this too far off track, but this is exactly the approach that has driven me - in the past - and other men insane and made communication literally impossible. If you will ignore everything your man says in lieu of "what it means," how is he supposed to reliably communicate anything? The only rational response to that approach is to shut up to avoid misinterpretation, which will of course lead to complaints about his refusal to engage. And along with that approach is usually a corollary that the man is responsible for understanding what the woman is "really saying" despite her refusal to state it simply and clearly. We developed language for a reason.[/quote]
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