Reply to DH says he doesn't want more kids until we're settled, but he's the one who quit his job at age 38

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Reply to "DH says he doesn't want more kids until we're settled, but he's the one who quit his job at age 38"

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[quote=TheManWithAUsername][quote=Anonymous]I passed up applying for a good job in a great location earlier this fall because of his desire not to move now.  Alternatively, he says if he stay here we have to have a house first.  But we can't really afford the type of house he wants in the neighborhood he wants -- he is pickier than I am -- due to his reduced salary.[/quote]
You seem to simultaneously refer to some decisions having been made yet attribute them to/blame them on him. I think you need to make decisions jointly - with full honesty, of course - and own them jointly afterwards. It's not clear from your description whether you weren't perfectly clear about your wishes, whether he refused to weigh them, some combination or something different.

I understand that it may be be easy for me to say "make decisions jointly." DW and I haven't had strong disagreement about issues this important, but there have been times when I've grudgingly chosen to defer to DW's preferences before, and when I do I have to take responsibility for that and agree to accept the consequences.

[quote=Anonymous]I feel like he is either running out the clock or incredibly clueless about fertility.  He claims he's seen the fertility stats and "it's not a big deal."[/quote]
Either is believable. As I said, in my very limited experience women seem often to unfairly suspect the former. Instead of taking his word for it re him seeing the stats, I would bring them to him and push for a discussion about them with them in front of both of you. Unfortunately, some people just aren't responsive to statistics, and as you suspect it may all be pretense, but maybe you'll get somewhere or get more information.

[quote=Anonymous]If your hubby says he doesn't get the fertility issue - you just need to tell him that it is a FACT and that you know best and you are not listening to him because he is unknowledgeable about this subject. Don't even bother to argue - you know it's true and that is that.[/quote]
FWIW, I would never accept that approach from anyone on any subject. Bluntly stating that you know best wouldn't get you anywhere with me, certainly not into bed to impregnate you.[/quote]

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