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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, we used a surrogate (or more specifically a gestational carrier, GC - it was our own PGS-tested embryo) for our baby. I was 44 and couldn't physically carry a pregnancy; the embryo was from when I was 42. It was 100% worth it! The hardest part was getting started. Once we had our lawyer she walked us through the entire process alongside our RE so we essentially just had to follow instructions.

I guess I was most nervous about the relationship with the GC herself, not knowing what to expect and it being such a, well, bizarrely intimate relationship. But I think the women that are willing to do this for someone else are just so wonderful and generous by nature - and a good lawyer/agency will know how to match you with someone that fits your personality and vice-versa. I'm pretty reserved and down to earth and so was our GC. Three years later we're Facebook friends and have a lot of goodwill but that's about the extent of our continued relationship, which suits us both well.

One thing I know some people are really concerned about with a surrogate is the psychological consultation that's required. In various support forums I saw some women get very upset about that, viewing it as a sort of personal invasion and a 'test' by the state to determine their fitness to be a parent. But although it's the only time I've ever seen a psychologist, I actually found it really helpful and reassuring. Our doctor specialized in these sort of conversations. There was one with just me and DH, she had one with our GC, and then one with the three of us together. It was very matter-of-fact and she asked good questions and gave us good advice on things to think about.

Now in my late 40s totally enjoying having a little one. Definitely keeping me in better shape than I probably otherwise would've been. :) If you have specific questions happy to try to answer them for you. I'll also say that I found some of the threads on Resolve's infertility boards useful. They have a forum specifically for 3rd party reproduction: https://www.inspire.com/groups/finding-a-resolution-for-infertility/topic/third-party-reproduction/.

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