Reply to Can This Marriage be Salvaged?

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[quote=Anonymous]
Wow, this is a tough one.  As someone who is 60 and happily married 30+ years and with two (now grown) kids, I can confirm that this particular stretch of life -- with both working hard and to little kids -- is the time of greatest overall stress, esp. if both are trying to build careers as opposed to merely working for a paycheck.

I have two ideas, one short-term and one longer.  First, try to restore the couples-only vacation somehow.  Maybe the in-laws could take both kids if you paid for a babysitter too?  Seems like what you need most is some couples-time free of the stresses of everyday life.

Second idea is more radical -- maybe think about how you could make a big change such as move to a much cheaper area where the cost-of-living is much lower and some of the stresses of everyday life can be ratcheted down?  I have no idea what your financial situation is so this may be unrealistic.  I also don't know if you can work remotely but, if so, that might be a solution.

Honestly it sounds like he is the one who really needs a major change and that change has to do with work.  No career is worth the sacrifice of all one's free time and friendships.  But on the positive side, it sounds like he realizes that and has already taken steps to address it.  Perhaps he should take a page from you and do something re work that is even more radical.  Would he do that if you supported and encouraged it?

-- A DH who was once a workaholic too[/quote]

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