Reply to Don’t marry someone who has been recently divorced

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Don’t marry someone who has been recently divorced "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Even if it seems like the divorce is amicable and they’ve worked through their issues. Even if they say “the marriage was over a long time ago.” Even if you’re getting older and worried about infertility. Don’t do it. They are lying to you and probably also themselves.

They will say they are eager to move onto the next phase of their life, that they are ready. You bet they are! Eager to pretend that other marriage didn’t happen. They want their do over. They are deep in their feelings of failure and remorse even if they seem fine, and they need to process those feelings, preferably in therapy.

They will say things about how the law requires them to wait too long to finalize their divorce (I actually agree with them there) and so bring just-divorced is more like being divorced a while ago. Nope. I don’t care if you’ve been separated for 6 months before your divorce. You aren’t over it.

Of course they want to get married now. Of course they want to plan a wedding instead of working through their BS. Guess what— they probably want to have a baby soon too. That’s also a nice distraction! And then that kid will distract them for a few years too.

Do they like to travel? Super into activities and bars and restaurants? You bet! Anything that keeps them from thinking about this stuff sounds good. So fun! And they will tell you how glad they are to share it all with you. Which is sweet, but is also about how glad they are to not be alone. Being alone is fking terrifying to them because then they’d have to confront their demons

Which they will, eventually. And the longer they wait, the worse it is.

Don’t marry someone who just got divorced. Give it a year or two, see where things shake out. Trust me on this one.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics