Reply to Anyone ever contemplated getting a divorce together and then deciding it was too impractical?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, except I have even more reason not to divorce (administrative reasons, on top of financial reasons, on top of the fact that my husband can be abusive towards our son and I don't want to share custody).

He's lost most of my respect and love. I do feel some affection towards him occasionally when he acts like a decent human being, and when he makes me laugh, but I recognize that it's not enough for a husband and wife relationship. I rely on outside friendships to keep me emotionally balanced.[/quote]

Thank you so much for posting. What is your game plan? Carry on til the kids are 18 years old? I hear all this advice on "would you want your mom/sister/bestfriend in a relationship like yours?" but I also want to hear the "what's the alternative?" It's not like divorce ends our problems.[b] I worry it will magnify it. [/b]
[/quote]

Then don't get a divorce. It does not sound like you really want one. You know when you really want one when you have no feeling at all toward the spouse, can't stand seeing them, don't have sex with him, don't want to retire with him, and would rather be single forever than stay married. For me, divorce feels better--I just could not stay married because I felt like I was living a lie and living in the biggest mistake of my life. I did not see the "benefits" of marriage everyone talks about ...I thought it was all sacrifice and no reward...all misery and no happiness. Divorce has different problems. You have to pick the problems that are easier to deal with (marriage problems or divorce problems). For me, divorce problems are preferred but everyone is different.[/quote]

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