Reply to Anyone ever contemplated getting a divorce together and then deciding it was too impractical?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello. My husband and I have grown apart in many ways. No abuse. No cheating. Quite a bit of irreconcilable differences. We fought a lot with harsh mean words. I'm definitely no saint and I made my mistakes. We don't agree on spending (he thinks I am too stingy and I think he is a spendthrift...but the cost of a divorce is alot so in my head, maybe I should just rationalize his frivolous spending as cheaper than divorce?). We don't like each other's families-- who to spend holidays with is always a fight. The sex has been quite dry, but I thought that was just part of being exhausted---We have 3 kids. Financially I think it is a dumb move. I am wondering though if this is just me chasing him, not wanting to let go of a marriage that is doomed, and ultimately just making it harder for everyone. I am the high earner. He can bleed me dry. He can choose to leave anytime. My understanding is that the longer I am in the marriage, the more it is to his favor in terms of alimony, etc. As for me, the thought of not having the kids during holidays hurts alot, as well as just the financial aspect of losing the benefits of marriage.

Marriage is hard, but divorce seems harder. I guess I'm looking for stories of people out there who have been in a similar situation. Do you just cut your losses early? We have been talking divorce for 2 years now. No one seems to pull the trigger. I'm pretty sure we are both unfulfilled in this marriage, but maybe I'm jaded, but I don't know if there would be more fulfilling relationships out there.

I don't even know what I'm looking for. It's not like it is in my control.

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