Reply to How to handle SIL's concerns/feelings (a topic involving race)

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[quote=Anonymous]Your SIL is ridiculous and she should get over herself.

My Asian, blue-collar origin father had no problems visiting my White, aristocratic mother's family castle in Europe, and visit rural pockets of her home country where no one had ever seen an Asian man, literally (this was in the 1970s). Some people he met stared and asked all kinds of "interesting" questions. When my oldest cousin first met him (at 5 yo), he immediately pulled his eye corners to form slits. When my mother first traveled to Asia to meet her ILs, my father's 5 yo niece pushed her eye corners in, to make her eyes rounder :-)

This is where self-confidence and taking things at face value count for a lot. Your SIL cannot develop these useful traits if she does not practice once in a while. It's not like she's going to Afghanistan or South Sudan, is it? She won't be killed on a street corner. Realistically, all she will have are stares, most of which will just be curious, not hostile. There is a possibility she may be confronted with an Asian-hater, but you know what? In my uber-liberal, international, educated town of Bethesda, there was an anti-Asian incident a few months ago. Some old white man started yelling at an Asian woman. That sort of thing can happen anywhere, just because there are insane people everywhere.

Your SIL can make the effort once in a while.

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