Reply to How to handle SIL's concerns/feelings (a topic involving race)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is likely your family, and not your town or neighborhood, that make your sister in law feel uncomfortable. I am Asian and I feel very uncomfortable being around my husband’s white supremes family that I have come to realize early on are prejudice against all non-white races. I have dated other white men and never felt this way around their families. Yes, I do regret marrying into this family and I wouldn’t be surprised if your sister in law feels the same way. Mine was a shotgun wedding.

If you really do care about your sister in law’s feelings, then you would do whatever you can to make her feel comfortable visiting you in Virginia. You would never speak down about any non-white races with her present. You would never suggest your brother visit without her. Doing so may give assumptions that your family is ashamed for her to visit you.

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Thank you for your insight. I am not sure what to do to make her comfortable? I mean, these are bare minimum expectations - but to be clear, we don't listen to Fox News, we don't listen to right-wing radio, we all abhor Trump, my husband is not a White person, my children are not White, and everyone openly supports social justice movements and efforts with both their time, their money, and their jobs (I work in the social justice field, as does my Mom). These alone do not make us anti-racist, but they do mean that we are aware of some of the issues, are trying to educate ourselves, and trying to be better and to raise our children better.   [/quote]

It is good to know that your family are not far-right wing supporters since I feel many are white supremacist like my in-laws. What race is your husband and how long have you known your sister-in-law? You should try to spend more time to get to know her, phone calls etc. She may be very shy and lack self esteem.[/quote]

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