Reply to need advice from ppl with toxic moms

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, do you have kids? We have kids and an adult sibling who is like your mom so we have dealt with the fear of being found. It’s really important to put your mom on your school’s “do not pick up” list; even if they don’t advertise that they have one, they do. Talk to the entire front office and to your child’s teachers about this. We also do it for my kid’s dance studio. This will keep you mom from strolling in and saying that something came up and she needs to pick up her granddaughter for you. Even schools that say they will only release a child to an adult who you designate will often ignore that for a grandparent or relative so you need to be careful and explicit with your kid’s school. We also have our social media tightly locked down, LinkedIn included. It has not hurt our careers, which was a minor but real fear. We do not use our child’s name or photo anywhere, including private social media accounts.

My child is young but aware of the situation in an age-appropriate way. You don’t want your kids to be accosted by a dangerous or toxic relative at 18 with zero information about the situation, because the relative could easily spin your history.

And I second what PP said: screen all calls.[/quote]

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