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[quote=Anonymous]My sister is four years younger than me. She didn't just become jealous because I'm expecting now. In fact, we haven't confirmed our pg to her or her husband yet. I'm 24 weeks and really showing. Last time I saw her she kept staring at my belly and then went to our mother to try to ascertain the truth. She didn't ask me because we are not speaking. We stopped speaking years ago when I learned the extent of her jealousy and competitiveness (not just with me but also with other women). I had asked my mother not to say anything so she denied she knew I was pg.

Anyhow this jealousy has been going on for a very long time. She began to open up to me to explain her feelings many years ago. She said she resented that she felt our father preferred me because I was the more outgoing child. She seemed to establish life milestones based on when I or other women achieved certain things. If I got married by a certain age, she was hell bent on trying to meet or beat my age. When that didn't happen she became very bitter toward me. She was pleased when she finally got engaged but broke off her engagement the day before my wedding. The day of my wedding she abandoned me and didn't help me get ready at all. She told me she thought my gown looked ugly.

When her colleagues were all getting pg and having babies, she called me one day when we were on better terms and confessed how envious she was of them but she couldn't help her feelings.

Then when I was seven months pregnant, she got married. She quickly got pregnant three months later. When my child was two and exhibiting some quirky behavior she was certain it was autism and kept urging us to have him evaluated. He wasn't delayed in his speech but slow to socialize with people outside of the family. We had him tested by several people and learned he did not have ASD, just social anxiety. Then when she had a child he was severely delayed in speech (didn't speak until he was 2 1/2 years old) and exhibited perseverative behavior. She refused to have him evaluated though. Once when we got into an argument about our children she said to me, "Everybody knows my child doesn't need your child, it's your child that needs my child," I suppose a reference to the fact that my DC was slower to socialize and needed her DC to help bring him out of his shell.

After the birth of our first children, she once confessed to me that she and her DH regularly glance at my belly to see if I'm pg with my second yet. They were always trying for their second.

She and I both had graduate school loans to pay off. When we got married, DH paid off mine. Her DH, a surgeon, refused to pay off hers though. I think she resented that because she then accused me of marrying DH for his money.

There have been so many jabs and insults I've taken over the years. Now I'm pg and don't want her to know. Since we're not on speaking terms she can't say anything to hurt me but I just don't want to deal with her stares and glares or the hurtful knowledge that my own sister can be that envious. How can I cope since I have to see her at birthday parties, holidays, etc...???  
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