Reply to We're staying in a hotel for IL visit!

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks to all PPs who have made a great case for staying in a hotel when visiting family!

For the first time in ages, I'm excited to be visiting my ILs! They really do mean well and try to be great hosts, but it has historically ended up just being super uncomfortable in lots of ways. MIL sleeps on the couch watching TV all night, which we can't hear from our very nice guest room but which also makes us feel like we can't go into the kitchen/living room area until she wakes up hours after we do. She and FIL bicker nonstop. They are getting older and understandably get tired from cooking/driving/organizing, but then get really cranky about it AND loudly and persistently refuse to accept help or do things differently. And they like to have everyone over when we're in town which ends up turning into a super loud get together that goes on until two in the morning. We've been independent adults and parents for a long time now, but there's always the feeling of them trying to turn everyone back into kids once we're there.

So now, we have our own space to retreat to when we're tired, we can still see them every day and visit them at the house, and we can take them to restaurants so they don't need to cook (at least not as much - they'll probably want to host a bit). It really feels like a return to sanity. My DH is happy too - he was astonished that there wasn't more fallout, but so far so good. I know there are those who always say that the whole point is to maximize togetherness, but in our situation that has really just caused enough needless stress that people who really do love each other haven't made the best of the time they've had.

They moved to a huge beautiful house with plenty of guest rooms a few years ago "for our visits" and we had really been more worried about offending them than taking care of our own comfort, but we finally bit the bullet and booked the hotel - it's our first post covid visit so MIL is calling it a "vacation", but we are going to be doing EVERY visit like this from now on.

I don't dare to be quite this happy about it in front of them, so I'm getting it out of my system here!

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