Reply to How to deal with no attention from husband (from the derailer of rekindling the romance thread)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He sounds pretty terrible. The comments about other women in front of you, and the negative comments about you are completely inappropriate and just mean. I also wonder about you having to initiate always. Do you think he is having or would have an affair? What does he bring to the table in terms of your marriage? [/quote]

I am absolutely sure he does not have an affair. Whether he would have one, idk. He is very traditional and puts a lot of value on family. He is very negative about men who cheat, but if the other woman is hot he never fails to mention it as if it was some sort of special achievement for the cheater to score her. On the initiating, it was not always this way. It used to be him primarily, but things changed during the pandemic.  I again got really serious about my fitness, which puts him off plus I suspect he is also just constantly tired. Our kid does not sleep properly and comes to our bed in the middle of the night every single night which is very disruptive. DH also works out early in the morning and that combo leads to him being constantly tired. So he does not look for sex in the evening because he wants to go to bed early and in the morning he either works out or our DC is in bed with us. But as we both telework and DC is in school or camp there would be in theory plenty of options during the day. Instead we kinda avoid each other most of the day. I would say we are pretty dysfunctional on many levels and our communication is awful.  He agrees with that, but when I propose that we do something alone without DC, he acts like I want something absolutely crazy from him. Why would I ever omit our child from anything. We literally did not have a date night since our early elementary DC was born and I really struggle with that as the adult connection is super important for me. In  terms of what he brings to the table, he is a great dad and my DC absolutely adores him and that is really the main thing that prevents me from moving on even though I am deeply unhappy.[/quote]

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