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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Also understand that this is not temporary because of grief. At that age, spousal loss is often the trigger to terminal decline. You’ll save yourself a lot of pain and regret, OP, if you start planning for that now.
[/quote]

You sure do have a lot of opinion with very little information.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss and I'm especially sorry that you are being dealt a lot of pressure from your dad to handle his grief as well as your own. 
I think you should be as open with your feelings as your dad has been with his, in a kind way. Figure out what you can do, erring on the side of doing more, but still within your limits. Then talk to him and tell him that you cannot be his sole support. What are his hobbies or interests, can he join a related group? Is there a senior center nearby? What about taking some classes at the community center or volunteering a few hours a week, if he is in good physical shape. Group grief therapy? He needs to widen his circle beyond you, but he won't unless he has to because it requires moving outside of the comfort zone of his family. This may be why nature plans for men to usually die first. It's difficult, but you have to push him. Think of it in the same way you would treat a child who is too anxious to make new friends but needs to learn the skill. You aren't doing them a favor by being their only support; instead, force them to develop the skills they need. Good luck.[/quote]

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