Reply to *tw child loss*: what to say to someone who lost a child?

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Reply to "*tw child loss*: what to say to someone who lost a child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would absolutely acknowledge it - with a quick story about their child if you have one - but immediately follow it up with something else so they don't feel obligated to respond to your sympathy. Sometimes people will want to talk about it and sometimes they don't. But it always feels good to know other people are thinking of your child.  [/quote]

As a parent who has lost a child, I think this depends.

I want to hear that people remember my child.  I want to hear people say his name.

But at the same time, I also want some privacy and some space for my other kids.  Because of covid, there are people who normally I would have run into often, who I haven't seen since my son died.  When I see someone for the first time, at a soccer game or the grocery store, I don't really want it brought up.

So if there's some privacy, then say "I was so sorry to hear about Henry.  I've been thinking about you and Leroy and the kids. (or praying for you and Leroy and the kids, if you know me from church or have some reason to be sure about my religious beliefs)."  But otherwise if it's not someone you are close enough to that you sent a card, or went to the service, then you don't need to say anything.  [/quote]

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