Reply to Update to "Minimal amount of secret drinking"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the OP of the "Minimal amount of secret drinking" thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/983882.page

Today I'm not in a good place. DH stayed sober for 2 weeks. Two nights ago, on Thursday evening, I went and had dinner with a friend after putting our toddler to bed. DH stayed home with toddler and took about 6 shots of tequila. He didn't have access to booze in the house so he ordered on one of those booze delivery apps. It makes my heart feel cold that he could do this when DD is in his care, even if she's asleep. I said, "what if she needed you?" and he said "I was fine" before acquiescing to the fact that no one is fine after 6 shots. Before this, I felt a lot more sympathy for DH but today I am struggling to feel anything but negativity.

This only came to light because the following day, yesterday, I saw him take a pull from this bottle in his work bag as he was wrapping up his work from home day. He still tried to lie to my face.

So now I don't feel comfortable leaving the house anymore with DD in DH's care. And if we split, I have to worry about her safety even more. I feel so terribly guilty that I've given our toddler this life. She is so perfect and I really messed up. Thinking about the future and what DD and I will have to deal with makes me want to throw up.

Also - a bunch of PPs recommended Al-Anon, and I was able to go to a virtual meeting this week which was really good. The people were so nice. I am going to try to do another meeting soon.

There is more, but I wanted to get this out of my head while I have a minute. Thanks again to everyone who has been so kind to me. [/quote]

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