Reply to Reasonable Expectations on Curfew/transportation/planning for rising freshman?

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Reply to "Reasonable Expectations on Curfew/transportation/planning for rising freshman?"

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[quote=Anonymous]PP (but different one) here,

[quote]1. If she is in the safe residential neighborhood, within say .5 of a mile, at a friends' house at night and she is walking home alone, what time should she be back? It's not about having a curfew. It's about knowing how long it should take her to get home from wherever she is, and exactly what time she leaves where she is to set out towards home. The issue is safety.[/quote]

This poster is wise talking about what matters.  I spent the past few decades working in a field where I see a lot of teens who have been in catastrophic accidents.  A common denominator is this.  They had a curfew and they left for home late then rushed to get there on time.  The real key for me is conveying the time they need to leave and making sure they understand that they need to get home safely and I am not concerned with how long that takes.

[quote]4. She is at a sleepover at a friend's house and they all decide to go out and roam the neighborhood at midnight (GPS tracking on her phone). OK or no? Absolutely not. If you get permission to go to a friend's house, you have permission to be AT THAT FRIEND'S HOUSE. If the kids want to go somewhere else, MY kids need to get permission.[/quote]

This is a tough one.  I think it is presumptuous to set rules in someone else's house.  But, I think it's ok to agree to the sleepover with the condition that they cannot leave the house.  Then if the other parent isn't onboard, they can decide your daughter shouldn't be included.  I am not a fan of sleepovers at other people's houses because of this sort of issue.  But, on the other hand, I allow kids who sleepover to go out skateboarding or hoverboarding after dark when they are at my house and no one has ever thought this was a problem.  (For the most part I don't live in the DMV anymore and the community we are in is a fun place for that sort of activity).

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