Reply to Reasonable Expectations on Curfew/transportation/planning for rising freshman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. If she is in the safe residential neighborhood, within say .5 of a mile, at a friends' house at night and she is walking home alone, what time should she be back? It's not about having a curfew. It's about knowing how long it should take her to get home from wherever she is, and exactly what time she leaves where she is to set out towards home.  The issue is safety.

2. If she is somewhere that she'll need a ride from me on a weeknight, how late should I let her stay out? (Generally, I would be in bed by 9:30)  To be honest, I gave my kids until 11pm in 9th and 10th grade. Keep in mind their bodies are more "awake" at night.

3. If she is getting a ride home from a friend's parents, how much wiggle room should there be in the time she gets home? (We've had multiple instances where Larla's mom is going to pick them up at 10:00, but (the story goes) she doesn't show up until 10:30/10:45. I can't hold my DD accountable for another adult's punctuality, right?  What we did was to not allow that parent to pick my kids up after they didn't show up on time. I don't want my kids hanging out, outside a diner for 45 minutes late at night waiting for someone's mom.  After that happens once, DH or I volunteer to pick up the kids.

4. She is at a sleepover at a friend's house and they all decide to go out and roam the neighborhood at midnight (GPS tracking on her phone). OK or no?  Absolutely not.  If you get permission to go to a friend's house, you have permission to be AT THAT FRIEND'S HOUSE.[b] If the kids want to go somewhere else, MY kids need to get permission. [/b]

We're strict about knowing where our kids are and not putting them in potentially unsafe situations (walking home alone at night, waiting around at night for an adult to pick them up, etc.).  The older ones have turned out to be very reliable, so it seems to be working. [/quote]

Thanks.  I like your approach.  One question about the bolded- Let's assume she asks my permission, either blanket or on a case-by-case.  What then?  On the one head:  why the heck would a kid need to leave the house?  On the other hand:  I have fond memories of hanging out with friends on the jungle gym at the local playground at what felt like the middle of the night.  Something about it felt special and mature, and maybe a bit rebellious. We weren't otherwise getting into trouble, and we were chatting under the stars.....[/quote]

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