Reply to Reasonable Expectations on Curfew/transportation/planning for rising freshman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am dealing with the same sort of issues.  This is my third child, but my first two didn't stay out until they could drive so I was lucky to avoid this stage.  Here is where I come down on things:

1. If she is in the safe residential neighborhood, within say .5 of a mile, at a friends' house at night and she is walking home alone, what time should she be back? [b] It's summertime.  By dark.  I can give a little leeway, but does my daughter really need to be walking home after 9 pm?  I think not.  [/b]
2. If she is somewhere that she'll need a ride from me on a weeknight, how late should I let her stay out? (Generally, I would be in bed by 9:30). [b] By my bedtime.  Everyone owes everyone else consideration.  I am happy to pick up and drop off my kids, but I have a real job that pays for our real lifestyle. [/b] 
3. If she is getting a ride home from a friend's parents, how much wiggle room should there be in the time she gets home? (We've had multiple instances where Larla's mom is going to pick them up at 10:00, but (the story goes) she doesn't show up until 10:30/10:45. I can't hold my DD accountable for another adult's punctuality, right? [b] You have no say and you can't hold her responsible at all.  You can either pick her up or agree to another family dropping her off and that is the end of your choices.[/b]
4. She is at a sleepover at a friend's house and they all decide to go out and roam the neighborhood at midnight (GPS tracking on her phone). OK or no?  [b]At a sleepover, it's up to the parents.  Your decision is whether you trust their judgment and allow her to attend.  Honestly, if they are not getting in trouble and are in a group in a safe neighborhood, sounds like some harmless fun.[/b]

I am grappling with these issues living in a summer vacation community.  It's never quiet here, but it's safe.  Any my DD is not walking but driving a golf cart.  These are my limits.  [/quote]

Appreciate this!  Thank you.

On the 9:00 suggestion, one thing I struggle with is how I really want her spending her time.  If she is home by 9:00, she isn't sleeping.  She is in her room on her phone, or watching television, or if I'm really lucky reading a book until 11:00 or later.  I would actually rather her be chatting with friends or playing games or whatever for that time.  Something feels wrong about requiring her to be home to do that instead of encouraging the social interaction.

This is hard.[/quote]

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