Reply to Question for People Who have Friends w/ Different Income Levels

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[quote=Anonymous]We have more money than many of our friends, both because my husband's career skyrocketed a few years ago, but also because we have always lived well below our means, save aggressively and do not carry a large amount of debt. As a result, we are not concerned about going out to eat a lot or buying big things or taking vacations.  There have been times when I have felt a little bit embarrassed by the fact that I simply do not have to think about how much money I am spending. Usually, I am embarrassed because I worry it embarrasses my friends that they do have to think about these things.

OP, I think that it is good that you are considering this and I think it would be a mistake to cancel this playdate. I am not really clear on why you WOULD cancel this playdate? Are you uncomfortable going to this family's house? Are you concerned about the safety of the neighborhood or the feelings of your mom having been at your (presumably larger and fancier) house? I think that if you continue to make up excuses about why you cannot come over to this family's house and why the playdates always have to happen on your turf, the mom will take the hint and the friendship will end, whether you want it to or not.

I think that it is good to be conscientious of the costs of your activities. Stick to things that are free when you can (a good general rule, frankly, since there are so many fun free things in this area). Make sure that you are not treating your friend like she is poor, offering to pay for things too often, etc. It's insulting and just draws attention to the income disparity.[/quote]

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