Reply to 14 and 16yo with no close friends or activities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It may be too late for this year but look at REc-PAC at the schools or the parks authority in your area as they all hire 14-16 yr old for CIT type postings as my neighbor’s dd has been doing a while.

If religious, all the churches have VBS and look for teen helpers (7 th grade up.) May not be too late for this.

Pet rescues need teens/families for few hours on weekends to play and walk at the adoptions.

Neighborhood pool. Can lifeguard at 15 so they could spend the fall/winter getting certified.

Every single activity known to man is in the DMV!

For friends, it is the hard one as has to come from them. One of ours had/ has a big group of friends but is selective how much time he spends as needs a lot of down time. He also swims, works, and has a specific hobby.

Our other had friends through neighborhood and scouts but never latched on to anyone thing or group. Still like that in college. Had/has just enough to make him feel included, and now a girlfriend.

I am older mom so I am sure my view is rose-colored of days of yore :) but the smartphones, technology has made it worse/ more convenient/ or bad from wherever you stand on the issue.

I’ve discussed this with friends whose kids are the star athletes, popular, etc. and they often say they are home all the time alone ( exaggerating a bit.) But what we all see is that you don’t have to go any where to “see” your friends. They lay on the bed or sofa and chat, FaceTime, text. Someone suggests an activity and most say no. It’s like they do not want to make the effort to get up, put on shoes, drive somewhere!

We had to go out if we wanted to see friends so you’d go for a walk, meet at McDonald’s. I was a good kid but I am sure many were not meeting so innocently but the point is you had to get out and at least move your body and engage with a human. Smile at friend, make eye contact with cashier or other parent.

Different world for sure but we know there are multiple studies saying how isolated we are all becoming and if teens are the bell weather it is going to get worse.

Last point, you obviously care and want them to have friends but recognize you can’t make them for them. I’d keep lightly suggesting new things to try or engage with so at least they have the opportunity of meeting someone with similar interests to open them up.

Our last is off to college in Fall. The years you are in are really hard ( aren’t they all.) Wishing you the best!
[/quote]

While you are correct that kids lay around and text and FaceTime and play online games, it’s also true that kids are back to socializing, and making up for lost time like crazy.

So, OP’s concern is legit, and a warning for others that it’s really important to invest in friendships and work to make and maintain them!  At this point, +100 on the job suggestions other PP’s gave. Your kids will likely have to wait until school starts to make additional friends. [/quote]

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